I missed you so much today.

I’ll miss you tomorrow too.

Not a single day goes by

that I don’t think of you.

How does a heart broken continue to beat;

how can it possibly go on?

When there are pieces forever missing

because you are gone?

Some say, “you need to get past it.”

Some say, “enough time has gone by.”

They can’t fathom this kind of pain;

I wouldn’t want them to even try.

There are days I feel it’s too much bear.

There are times I think I can’t make it through.

I remind myself that, some day, we will be together again.

For now, the memories will have to do.

National Widow’s Day

Yes, it’s a thing.

Today is National Widow’s Day




Did you know… 800,000 people are widowed each year?

Did you know… 700,000 of those are women?

Did you know… most widows live in poverty? (Over 115 million world wide)

Did you know… “death of a spouse” is listed as the #1 stressor on the stress index scale and is considered one of life’s most devastating events?

Did you know… 60% of those who lose a spouse or significant other will experience a serious illness within 12 months?

Did you know… insomnia is one of the most common symptoms for a grieving spouse?

Did you know… most widow(er)s lose 75% of their support base when their spouse dies?

Did you know… after 3 – 4 months most of the remaining support fades for a widow(er)?

Did you know… most widow(er)s lose touch with their in-laws within a year of a loss?

Did you know… it really is possible to die of a broken heart? Widow(er)s have a 30% elevated risk of death in the first 6 months after their spouse death.

Thank you GOD I beat almost every stat listed. I did lose some relationships but I gained some stronger ones as well…

Be nice to a widow today, you DON’T know what they deal with privately .

Writing Credit – Kisha Taylor from SUPPORT GROUP – Young, Widowed & Dating – Not a Dating Site

Painful Times and Being Real

The month of June is approaching and I am already feeling it. Let me explain a few things. Some might not understand why anniversary dates can affect you so much. I’ve even told myself, it’s just a day on the calendar, try not to let it affect you any more than any other day. But the reality is, that “just another day on the calendar,” is of much significance and whether I want to acknowledge it or not, they are just hard days. Especially the anniversary of the accident. It takes you right back there. The hours leading up to it. You relive it. It’s not a choice. If you think it is, you are wrong.

Some say, they don’t have to be hard days. No, they don’t. And believe it or not, it’s not up to me. I can’t help how I feel. And I’m not going to pretend that I’m not hurting.

Jonathan’s birthday is on June 3rd

This year he would have been 39. Just because he isn’t here physically doesn’t mean that that day means nothing anymore. It actually means more now.

Father’s Day is June 17th.

Big deal? Yes, very big deal. My kids go on and try to live a normal life everyday, all while feeling like a huge part of them is gone. Because it is! This is a daily pain they walk around with. And in all reality, Father’s Day now sucks for them!

The anniversary of the accident is June 19th.

Yep, 2 days after Father’s Day. I usually plan something ahead of time to try and distract our minds on that day. There have been a couple years that I just couldn’t bring myself to do something. This year it will be six years since losing him. SIX YEARS. We are going to struggle with that.

You see, whether it’s 1 day, 6 months, or 5+ years. It hurts. There is a void. It’s not made up. It’s real. There is pain in not having that person anymore. Sure, we can do our best to move forward in a positive direction. But the void is still there. The pain of not having him is still there. No amount of time is going to change that. I understand that it would be easier for everyone that knows us if we could just go on quietly and not go through these painful times. That’s just not how it works. Sure, we could pretend that everything is okay and that we don’t feel the pain, but that’s just pretending. And that doesn’t help us. It helps you. I’m sorry if you are uncomfortable with our grief. Actually, I’m not sorry. I shouldn’t be made to feel like I need to hide the way I feel to make other people more comfortable. Instead of telling me how I should feel, or what I should do; if you love me, validate my feelings and just be there. Otherwise, I will want to shut you out. So please, bear with me in the next month or so. I might talk about him more. I might share memories more. I might say that I’m struggling. If you have an opinion on the matter, please keep it to yourself. There is nothing more hurtful than to be told that you shouldn’t feel the way you do or to hear that people have been talking about it, discussing how you should be handling your grief. I suffered in silence for a very long time because of worrying too much about what other people might think or say. But, no one has walked through this for me. No one has had to deal with the daily struggles that have come with losing this person who was an every day part of our lives. We have. You don’t have a clue what that has been like and I pray you don’t ever have to understand because of it happening to you. I have a voice; I’m going to use it. This is my story; I’m going to tell it.

All of that being said, the three of us have come SO far. We are living our lives the best way we know how. We are moving forward, a little more, every single day. But, we will always have some bad days. We will always miss him and wish he was here. I think the very most important thing to recognize here is that, we have never given up.


I have a voice; I’m going to use it. This is my story; I’m going to tell it.