FEARS that lead us to HIDE who we are

In a class I took awhile back I read about the fears that lead us to believe things that are not true.

Some of these fears are:

The fear of failure

The fear of rejection

The fear of condemnation

We feel like we have to paint a picture for others that we have everything under control and are problem free. We hold ourselves to standards that are not attainable. We think others have unrealistic expectations of us. We work so hard at creating a facade. For what?? For who?? Where did we learn that we are supposed to be perfect??

I was just talking the other day about this very thing. To me, nothing ministers to people more than when someone is real. When we admit our struggles, it frees others to do the same. Feeling like we have to keep our struggles hidden, only results in isolation and further pain. I don’t want to live in a false sense of reality. I don’t want to feed into this lie that we have to meet the expectations of others.

I struggle. A lot. I battle things that not everyone knows about. I struggle with chronic grief and depression. I struggle with anxiety. I struggle with feeling not good enough. I struggle with a poor self image. I could go on but I think you get the idea.

There, I said it. So tell me this… How does that change how you see me? Does that make you feel any different about me?

After reading about this, my heart became heavy for all the people that suffer in silence in the name of fear. I thought about myself and how what I was reading reflected things I felt about myself.

So, the point of this is to give a voice to this issue. If I can put my struggles out there, maybe someone else that has been hiding will be encouraged to admit theirs too.

You aren’t alone. IMG_9267

Where did we learn that we are supposed to be perfect??

LIFE

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We were clueless.  We couldn’t have known.  We got in a car together just as we had several times a day for 14+ years.  We cranked up the music.  We pulled out of the driveway.  For the last time.  Five years ago today my kids and I lost the single most important person in our lives.  My best friend and the one that I would grow old with was gone.  In an instant. Everything changed in that instant. EVERYTHING.
Life has not been nor will it ever be the same.  We had plans.  We had dreams.  We were supposed to raise our children together.  I have been trying to pick up the pieces ever since.  The thing I have come to know is that no matter how hard I try, those pieces are never going to complete the puzzle that was to be our lives together.  Well, not on this side of heaven anyway.   

So what now?

I have to live.  Every single day I have to make the conscious choice to live.  Not just going through the motions but truly living.  That’s what this blog is about and I dedicate it to his memory.  I dedicate it to his life and the life he would want us to live.
Jonathan David Roberts ~ Born June 3, 1979 ~ Stepped into eternity June 19, 2012

Walking through the journey of pain and loss, with purpose.  Holding on to the hope of the joy that lies ahead.