You Should be Here

This ⬆️

Although grandchildren aren’t in the picture yet, this couldn’t be more true. Thinking ahead to that chapter of my life is sometimes too hard to even attempt; my heart won’t often let me go there.

You should be here.

You should have been here for all our kids have experienced and gone through, these last 7.5 years. Wait 😳- even just typing that number out seems so unreal.

You should be here now because they both need you so much. We have spent much time as of late talking about how different things would be, the heartache that we could have been spared, and all the things lost that might still be…had you not been taken from us. Sure, life would not have been perfect, but it would have been perfect to us because we would have walked through it all together. You could have never imagined the huge impact your loss would have on our lives and our hearts.

You should be here when our kids enter the next phase of their lives, when they begin their careers and pursue their heart’s desires, and when they eventually start families of their own. When there are grandchildren in the picture… I still can’t imagine you not being here for all of this. They will know you though! They will hear about your laugh, your sense of humor, your love for music, and how you would have tickled them, played with them, and how you would love them so big. They will hear about it all. They will know you.

You should be here.

Published by Joni@GrieftoLife

Gotta love the 'About Me' sections of everything. I feel like I'm either in a one sided interview or trying to create a dating profile. "I like starry nights and long walks on the beach" Ha! All jokes aside, it is necessary to share your story. Especially in a place like this where you hope to reach people through your struggles. So here goes everything... Hi everyone 👋🏼 Grief is a journey, an ever changing and painful process. It can isolate you and make you feel more lonely than one could ever imagine. That is why I write and share my story. We need support. We need people that "get it." We need each other. I was married to the love of my life, just shy of 13 years. We went to school together, known him since elementary. He was my "boyfriend" in 5th grade. I even wrote "Joni Roberts" in my notebooks and cheered for him when he played basketball at recess 😂 We came back together when we went to the prom, as friends, our senior year in high school. That was in 1997. We started dating seriously in the summer of 1998. He asked me to be his wife in February of 1999. We said "I do" on October 2nd of the same year. We had our first child in October of 2000, our son. We had our daughter, 22 months later in August of 2002. In the time we were married, we went through more than most could go through in a lifetime. We never gave up on each other. In June of 2012, he and I were in a horrible car accident that claimed his life. In an instant, my entire world was shattered, leaving me a grieving single mother of two grieving children who are now teenagers. I'm walking day by day through life without the one that would be with me forever. I would have never imagined that this is where I would be in my life at 38 years old. But, I am doing everything I can to be strong, to raise our two children, to take this grief and use it to fuel the purpose for the rest of my days here on earth. ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME. Today: I am in the waiting room for my first neurologist appointment. It is in the same office as my surgeon from the accident. I'm sitting here remembering myself horribly hurt and in a wheelchair and I'm overwhelmed with feelings but mostly reflecting on how far I've come. I love and miss my best friend every single day. I'm positive that won't change until we are together again. I am choosing to try and live my life in a way that would honor him and make him proud. Living With Purpose.

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