Grief

Forever Changed

People who have suffered through the trauma that comes with loss are forever changed. Once they begin the journey towards moving forward, they find themselves tirelessly working towards getting back to who they used to be. The real struggle is that they are fighting an uphill battle, in that, they don’t realize that it’s just not possible. They aren’t who they used to be and they never will be. If they are fortunate enough to fully get that revelation, they can then begin that journey of a new self-discovery. It’s not at all about going back to the person they used to be. It is all about realizing and becoming the person they will be, going forward.

12 thoughts on “Forever Changed”

    1. Yes, and it’s as if every death builds on the last, so each time one comes along, you are grieving for the others all over again. This IS hard! 💕 But it is the price that we happily choose to pay for loving others 😃

  1. Joni, so true. This is what I am doing discovering the new me I have changed so much over the past few years I can no longer recognise myself. May you continue to blossom and become the new person in your life.

  2. May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
    And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
    Ephesians 3:18,19 (KJV)

  3. Dear Joni,

    As Buddha used to say:
    “There is only one thing that does not change: the change”

    Means when we accept who we are at present, we will travel towards the future in
    accepting any change that may come. We all are in the process of making and we are no longer the one we used to be. We may look at our present situation and may analyze carefully what we can change with us, what we can improve – love will nevertheless continue in our heart when we had a loss of someone very near to us.

    Also I have lost my first wife (cancer). Love is everywhere around us, in the small things which we can observe with gratitude, dear friend.

    Thanks for sharing, my dear friend Joni 🙂

    Love and light to you
    Didi

  4. Thank you for sharing!!.. “No matter the pain or suffering, it is always better if it’s a burden shared by two, instead of a weight carried by one alone”… (Larry “Dutch” Woller)

  5. All of your posts are very meaningful and can relate to them in so many different ways. My mum passed away 3 years ago and until recently I had spent that time trying to get back to my usual self, without realising that this wouldn’t happen and I would be a different person again. Now that I have it is all about making the person you loss proud of what you are achieving on this new path.

    https://akidneystory.wordpress.com/

  6. Joni ….. I couldn’t agree more …. especially when the loss of a loved one was sudden. It changes one forever. When my Daddy went ahead, I felt I was in a storm ….. one I had never anticipated. How does anyone do that in the first place? Had the toughest and roughest of days and there were times I could hardly recognize myself ….. It’s been two years now, and the pain is still there. It will always be there …. the missing ….. and I’ve learned to be okay with that. I find this well of hope in me knowing that his legacy of love lives on in me forever. I make a conscious decision to celebrate him, his awesome memory….. to think OH MY, SUCH A GREAT, NOBLE, AWESOME, LOVING, UNBEATABLE, SKY’S THE LIMIT MAN actually walked the face of the earth …. and I called him Dad! Thanks for your post that found its way to my heart! ❤️

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