I Have Learned

The older I get, the more wisdom I gain, and as my relationship with the Lord continues to evolve and grow, things just become much more simplified.

I don’t worry about the things that I used to. Things that used to get me upset/worked up, things that used to hurt my feelings, etc. just don’t matter to me the way they used to. I know what is important and who is important in my life and I choose to put my focus in those places. I have learned how to use the word no more often and when appropriate. I have learned to stand up for myself, other people, and the things that I believe in. The coolest part about that is that I have learned that standing up for yourself doesn’t always require taking action. I have learned that it is more than okay, and even healthy, to distance myself from things and people that do not add to my life. I don’t have relationships out of obligation. I have chosen not to make commitments only out of obligation. I have learned to take the time to stop and think about where my time, which is so valuable, is best spent. I put my energy towards and invest myself in what best serves me, my children, and my goals. There is good reason behind what I do, what I say, and the decisions I make and not only do I stand firmly behind each of those things; I owe no one an apology or explanation for them either. I have learned that you teach people how to treat you and I no longer have any interest in allowing myself to be in any situation in which I am treated any less than what I deserve. I have learned that what other people think of me and what they have said or might say about me is none of my business. I do not need to defend myself or correct anyone who speaks untruths about me. God will take care of that! I have learned to forgive and let go, even when forgiveness isn’t asked for. I have learned to pray for those who have hurt me, give that hurt to God, and move forward with peace in my heart. I have learned, whole heartedly believe, and trust in the fact that God is my defender and my protector and will take care of all matters concerning me.

Life is too short and I’m too busy, working toward things that line up with the will of God for my life, to care about insignificant things anymore.

I have been through hell and back. I have fallen, been in places of hopelessness and wanted to give up.

BUT most importantly…

I have overcome many things that could have completely broken me. I have gotten back up, dusted myself off many times, and continued to move forward. I have grown. I have learned.

Published by Joni@GrieftoLife

Gotta love the 'About Me' sections of everything. I feel like I'm either in a one sided interview or trying to create a dating profile. "I like starry nights and long walks on the beach" Ha! All jokes aside, it is necessary to share your story. Especially in a place like this where you hope to reach people through your struggles. So here goes everything... Hi everyone 👋🏼 Grief is a journey, an ever changing and painful process. It can isolate you and make you feel more lonely than one could ever imagine. That is why I write and share my story. We need support. We need people that "get it." We need each other. I was married to the love of my life, just shy of 13 years. We went to school together, known him since elementary. He was my "boyfriend" in 5th grade. I even wrote "Joni Roberts" in my notebooks and cheered for him when he played basketball at recess 😂 We came back together when we went to the prom, as friends, our senior year in high school. That was in 1997. We started dating seriously in the summer of 1998. He asked me to be his wife in February of 1999. We said "I do" on October 2nd of the same year. We had our first child in October of 2000, our son. We had our daughter, 22 months later in August of 2002. In the time we were married, we went through more than most could go through in a lifetime. We never gave up on each other. In June of 2012, he and I were in a horrible car accident that claimed his life. In an instant, my entire world was shattered, leaving me a grieving single mother of two grieving children who are now teenagers. I'm walking day by day through life without the one that would be with me forever. I would have never imagined that this is where I would be in my life at 38 years old. But, I am doing everything I can to be strong, to raise our two children, to take this grief and use it to fuel the purpose for the rest of my days here on earth. ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME. Today: I am in the waiting room for my first neurologist appointment. It is in the same office as my surgeon from the accident. I'm sitting here remembering myself horribly hurt and in a wheelchair and I'm overwhelmed with feelings but mostly reflecting on how far I've come. I love and miss my best friend every single day. I'm positive that won't change until we are together again. I am choosing to try and live my life in a way that would honor him and make him proud. Living With Purpose.

5 thoughts on “I Have Learned

  1. Great Godly Wisdom, showing Maturity in Christ, as a Living Testimony of The Life of Jesus, being about the Father’s Business.
    Joni, your life and ministry demonstrate living as an Ambassador of Christ, as well as a disciple.
    Your teaching and sharing, all Scripture based and grounded, are a blessing, encouragement, and help for many, as you walk in step with Holy Spirit.
    Thank you, and God Bless.

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