Grief

Forgiveness 3.0

I have written on this subject quite a bit. The reason for that is most likely because it’s something that has been top of mind for the last several years. Prior to losing my husband, I never really had to think about forgiveness very much, it just came naturally. It actually used to drive Jonathan crazy because he always thought that I let people take advantage of me. I just always had a forgiving heart.

My previous posts were about talking through forgiveness and the possible reasons why it was now so difficult for me. The reason for writing about this again is because I’m finally on a different side of the subject.

As much as I hated the fact that I wasn’t able to let go of certain things and as much as I tried, it just kept creeping back up. That told me that I hadn’t fully dealt with it. It finally became more than just wanting to be free from it; I needed to. The biggest struggle was that I wanted it to be real. I could say over and over that I had forgiven, but I was desperate for it to feel genuine. I realized that I had to set the feelings aside. You can’t trust your feelings, they change.

Much like (believe it or not) love is not about feelings, it is a choice, the same can be said for forgiveness. Love without action means nothing. I realized that I had to choose to forgive, regardless of how I felt. I made the decision, I wrote out some feelings that I needed to get out, I prayed for each person that I had been hurt by, and gave it over to God; for real.

Here is what really made all the difference for me. Forgiveness doesn’t negate what someone did, how they affected you, or made you feel. It doesn’t mean that suddenly it’s okay or that you magically forget what has happened. It doesn’t mean that you open your heart and life up to those people and let them walk back in. It’s actually best if you don’t if they aren’t safe or healthy for you. It’s about making peace with the past and being able to move forward from it.

Lastly, and most importantly, God commands us to forgive. Matthew 6:14-15 says that if you do not forgive others, your heavenly Father won’t forgive you. It’s also super important for you to understand that you don’t forgive solely for the other person, you do it for you. It’s essential to have a clear heart; it’s freeing and releases all involved. God is more than aware of what has been done to you and He is clear in His word that He will defend you. He will fight your battles. He will protect you. Isaiah 49:25 says that He will contend with those who contend with you. Once you truly understand and get that into your heart, you can have the faith to let go and let God handle things in His own way.

I can’t begin to adequately express the weight that is lifted and the freedom you can feel from forgiving and letting go.

No longer to be continued…

You can read my past posts on forgiveness by clicking the following links:

http://bit.ly/2forgiveornaw

http://bit.ly/lookingbackandforward

http://bit.ly/wwyd_gtl

Connect with Grief to Life on Facebook: http://bit.ly/Grief2LifeFB

9 thoughts on “Forgiveness 3.0”

  1. Excellent thoughts and truths here Joni. While reading your post, it is so obvious to hear your heart. You were speaking with your heart, with Holy Spirit guidance and direction.
    These are truths all, or nearly all, need to reflect on. As we are honest with ourselves, and honest with God, we are able to hear Holy Spirit as He will lead us to pray and release feelings and memories of past hurts to our Lord Jesus, and be released from carry that heavy baggage with us any longer.
    I appreciate your reminder also, we don’t have to let those who have hurt us, back into our lives again. We need discernment in this area for sure.
    As Jesus put it:
    Matthew 10:16
    16 “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.
    JFB Commentary describes it:
    be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves–Wonderful combination this! Alone, the wisdom of the serpent is mere cunning, and the harmlessness of the dove little better than weakness: but in combination, the wisdom of the serpent would save them from unnecessary exposure to danger; the harmlessness of the dove, from sinful expedients to escape it. In the apostolic age of Christianity, how harmoniously were these qualities displayed! Instead of the fanatical thirst for martyrdom, to which a later age gave birth, there was a manly combination of unflinching zeal and calm discretion, before which nothing was able to stand.
    Thank you Joni, as you continue to bless with each post.
    God Bless.

  2. Excellent thoughts and truths here Joni. While reading your post, it is so obvious to hear your heart. You were speaking with your heart, with Holy Spirit guidance and direction.
    These are truths all, or nearly all, need to reflect on. As we are honest with ourselves, and honest with God, we are able to hear Holy Spirit as He will lead us to pray and release feelings and memories of past hurts to our Lord Jesus, and be released from carry that heavy baggage with us any longer.
    I appreciate your reminder also, we don’t have to let those who have hurt us, back into our lives again. We need discernment in this area for sure.
    As Jesus put it:
    Matthew 10:16
    16 “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.
    JFB Commentary describes it:
    be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves–Wonderful combination this! Alone, the wisdom of the serpent is mere cunning, and the harmlessness of the dove little better than weakness: but in combination, the wisdom of the serpent would save them from unnecessary exposure to danger; the harmlessness of the dove, from sinful expedients to escape it. In the apostolic age of Christianity, how harmoniously were these qualities displayed! Instead of the fanatical thirst for martyrdom, to which a later age gave birth, there was a manly combination of unflinching zeal and calm discretion, before which nothing was able to stand.
    Thank you Joni, as you continue to bless with each post.
    God Bless.

  3. Christ Jesus said to take His yoke for it is light. When we do, He takes ours, Grief is halved and Joy is doubles.:)

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