My Babies

They will be 17 & 19 this year. I remember once, I’ll never forget it, someone criticized me for calling Chase, baby. My Dad said, don’t you listen to that for a second. He is your baby. They are both your babies and they always will be.
Being a Mom is the most rewarding thing that one can be in their life. It can also be heartbreaking. It’s because a Momma’s heart was made to love her babies with an intensity that is bigger than we can comprehend. We just want the absolute best for them.
What I finally had to realize is that these people are on loan to me. As much as I love them, God loves them so much more. He created them and they belong to Him. I have to trust that no matter what happens, He has them in His hands and He is in control. So hard to let go and let God, but I have to.
Each one of us, even our children, have our own individual path to walk in this life. I have to remind myself of that daily and just say, “I trust you Lord.”

Published by Joni@GrieftoLife

Gotta love the 'About Me' sections of everything. I feel like I'm either in a one sided interview or trying to create a dating profile. "I like starry nights and long walks on the beach" Ha! All jokes aside, it is necessary to share your story. Especially in a place like this where you hope to reach people through your struggles. So here goes everything... Hi everyone 👋🏼 Grief is a journey, an ever changing and painful process. It can isolate you and make you feel more lonely than one could ever imagine. That is why I write and share my story. We need support. We need people that "get it." We need each other. I was married to the love of my life, just shy of 13 years. We went to school together, known him since elementary. He was my "boyfriend" in 5th grade. I even wrote "Joni Roberts" in my notebooks and cheered for him when he played basketball at recess 😂 We came back together when we went to the prom, as friends, our senior year in high school. That was in 1997. We started dating seriously in the summer of 1998. He asked me to be his wife in February of 1999. We said "I do" on October 2nd of the same year. We had our first child in October of 2000, our son. We had our daughter, 22 months later in August of 2002. In the time we were married, we went through more than most could go through in a lifetime. We never gave up on each other. In June of 2012, he and I were in a horrible car accident that claimed his life. In an instant, my entire world was shattered, leaving me a grieving single mother of two grieving children who are now teenagers. I'm walking day by day through life without the one that would be with me forever. I would have never imagined that this is where I would be in my life at 38 years old. But, I am doing everything I can to be strong, to raise our two children, to take this grief and use it to fuel the purpose for the rest of my days here on earth. ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME. Today: I am in the waiting room for my first neurologist appointment. It is in the same office as my surgeon from the accident. I'm sitting here remembering myself horribly hurt and in a wheelchair and I'm overwhelmed with feelings but mostly reflecting on how far I've come. I love and miss my best friend every single day. I'm positive that won't change until we are together again. I am choosing to try and live my life in a way that would honor him and make him proud. Living With Purpose.

21 thoughts on “My Babies

  1. Thanks for your sharing, my dear Joni 🙂
    I always love your honesty in your writing and that you have trust in God as well. Also He alone knows why your husband had to leave – He knows our heart and background and in His hands, all will be fine.
    Have a great time, my friend and be happy with your big babies 🙂

  2. I agree and years ago – god reminded us that our children were “his kids first” and entrusted to us – I love how you wrote this – ahhhh
    trust in god brings so much peace

  3. Joni, you have the Heart of God, and the heart of a Mother. Your son and daughter are so blessed having you to guide them, and be the example in living a Godly life.
    Even amongst the heartache and turmoil, God had His hand on you, because you held onto Him.
    May the three of you, be bound together by the Spirit of God, giving thanks to the Son of God, our Lord Jesus always, for His willing sacrifice on Calvary, and continually worshipping our Heavenly Father, the Living God Who gave His Son for our Salvation.

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