One of those days ?

There is never a single day that goes by that my loss isn’t evident in some way.
There are constant reminders.
Even still, every once in awhile, it hits hard. In a different way.
I’m shocked.
I can’t believe you are gone.

Published by Joni@GrieftoLife

Gotta love the 'About Me' sections of everything. I feel like I'm either in a one sided interview or trying to create a dating profile. "I like starry nights and long walks on the beach" Ha! All jokes aside, it is necessary to share your story. Especially in a place like this where you hope to reach people through your struggles. So here goes everything... Hi everyone 👋🏼 Grief is a journey, an ever changing and painful process. It can isolate you and make you feel more lonely than one could ever imagine. That is why I write and share my story. We need support. We need people that "get it." We need each other. I was married to the love of my life, just shy of 13 years. We went to school together, known him since elementary. He was my "boyfriend" in 5th grade. I even wrote "Joni Roberts" in my notebooks and cheered for him when he played basketball at recess 😂 We came back together when we went to the prom, as friends, our senior year in high school. That was in 1997. We started dating seriously in the summer of 1998. He asked me to be his wife in February of 1999. We said "I do" on October 2nd of the same year. We had our first child in October of 2000, our son. We had our daughter, 22 months later in August of 2002. In the time we were married, we went through more than most could go through in a lifetime. We never gave up on each other. In June of 2012, he and I were in a horrible car accident that claimed his life. In an instant, my entire world was shattered, leaving me a grieving single mother of two grieving children who are now teenagers. I'm walking day by day through life without the one that would be with me forever. I would have never imagined that this is where I would be in my life at 38 years old. But, I am doing everything I can to be strong, to raise our two children, to take this grief and use it to fuel the purpose for the rest of my days here on earth. ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME. Today: I am in the waiting room for my first neurologist appointment. It is in the same office as my surgeon from the accident. I'm sitting here remembering myself horribly hurt and in a wheelchair and I'm overwhelmed with feelings but mostly reflecting on how far I've come. I love and miss my best friend every single day. I'm positive that won't change until we are together again. I am choosing to try and live my life in a way that would honor him and make him proud. Living With Purpose.

43 thoughts on “One of those days ?

  1. My deepest sympathy and best wishes go out to you. For I know the pain of the loss of a mate. 10 years ago this very month. It does get easier with time. But you never forget. I still have my moments or days filled with sorrow. I allow them to take hold and consume me so that I can resume daily life the next moment or day that comes along.

  2. One cannot know and cherish love until ones knows heartache…do not stare at door of happiness that has closed for so long that you miss another door that is opening for you… 🙂
    “Life gives us brief moments with another, but sometimes in those brief moments we get memories that last a lifetime, So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.” (Author Unknown)

  3. All feel same but who is the closest of you never flies off from your heart. He is always somewhere around you and in your heart.?

  4. Yes, the smallest thing can trigger the grief. I think we are especially susceptible to grief on weekends like the last one, where Memorial Day is celebrated. There is National Corporate Grief and we are all a part of that. Sending warm thoughts your way.

  5. “One of those days” out of nowhere are the worst. You aren’t prepared and they blindside you. Praying today is a new day of hope for you.

  6. My heart goes out to you Joni!
    Father, I pray that when Joni has one of those days. Your love will be her comfort! In Jesus’ name, Amen! Love, strength and peace my sister!

  7. such a lovely and meaningful blog. I’m sory for your loss, dear. Take it one day at a time. One task at a time. And take your time. Safety and peace are important during your journey. May God bless you.

  8. Like many others, I was looking for the “sad” button, or “holding you up to our Father”, or something other than “like” which seems so inappropriate at times.
    God Bless, Hold you and Keep you Joni. You are a loved Daughter of Almighty God, with our Lord Jesus, the Prince Of Peace, interceding for you, as your Advocate, as well as giving Peace, along with the Third Person Of our Triune God, Holy Spirit, our Comforter giving you Calmness and Rest, as only He is able during difficult times.

  9. Hey! I’m John. I just read a good bit of your posts. I can’t begin to fathom everything you’ve been through. But I really admire and appreciate you telling your story and experiences. God bless you!

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