What is Your Drug?

Wow. One of the best, most thought provoking posts I’ve read. I struggle with grief as well as the fear of letting go. Never had I thought of them as a drug. Will probably have to read this several more tones to fully process my thoughts. A must read…

Published by Joni@GrieftoLife

Gotta love the 'About Me' sections of everything. I feel like I'm either in a one sided interview or trying to create a dating profile. "I like starry nights and long walks on the beach" Ha! All jokes aside, it is necessary to share your story. Especially in a place like this where you hope to reach people through your struggles. So here goes everything... Hi everyone 👋🏼 Grief is a journey, an ever changing and painful process. It can isolate you and make you feel more lonely than one could ever imagine. That is why I write and share my story. We need support. We need people that "get it." We need each other. I was married to the love of my life, just shy of 13 years. We went to school together, known him since elementary. He was my "boyfriend" in 5th grade. I even wrote "Joni Roberts" in my notebooks and cheered for him when he played basketball at recess 😂 We came back together when we went to the prom, as friends, our senior year in high school. That was in 1997. We started dating seriously in the summer of 1998. He asked me to be his wife in February of 1999. We said "I do" on October 2nd of the same year. We had our first child in October of 2000, our son. We had our daughter, 22 months later in August of 2002. In the time we were married, we went through more than most could go through in a lifetime. We never gave up on each other. In June of 2012, he and I were in a horrible car accident that claimed his life. In an instant, my entire world was shattered, leaving me a grieving single mother of two grieving children who are now teenagers. I'm walking day by day through life without the one that would be with me forever. I would have never imagined that this is where I would be in my life at 38 years old. But, I am doing everything I can to be strong, to raise our two children, to take this grief and use it to fuel the purpose for the rest of my days here on earth. ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME. Today: I am in the waiting room for my first neurologist appointment. It is in the same office as my surgeon from the accident. I'm sitting here remembering myself horribly hurt and in a wheelchair and I'm overwhelmed with feelings but mostly reflecting on how far I've come. I love and miss my best friend every single day. I'm positive that won't change until we are together again. I am choosing to try and live my life in a way that would honor him and make him proud. Living With Purpose.

14 thoughts on “What is Your Drug?

  1. Intriguing!
    I’ve just finished reading ‘The Information’ a book that infers we inhabit only a field of information – energy ‘bits’. Like an organic version of the Internet.
    We humans then create the universe in our minds, in our brains, from this information. There seems to be an echo of what Alexander is saying in your quote here – no wonder we can get addicted to our own thoughts.

  2. I thought it good call it what you will a drug or repetitive thoughts which come from demons to demoralise us. We have to change our thoughts constantly to be positive. This is why we have to empower our soul to connect strongly with God.

      1. Those are some good things to be addicted to. Let those addictions replace the addictions in your life you don’t want there. One day at a time. ?

  3. alcohol was my drug, but now anti-depressants (which help keep my mind from wandering to the negative) and God’s love are my answer.
    🙂

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