Eternity

Poem I wrote 8/5/14

They say it gets easier, regardless of how you feel. Just be patient, your heart will heal. Give it time, that’s the only cure. Well, I keep waiting, I’m just not so sure. Every day that goes by, I miss you a little more. Everywhere I go, it’s you I look for. When I open my eyes each morning and when I close them every night, I expect for you to be there, right by my side. What does it really mean, to say you’re in my heart? Cause you took it with you; you had all of it from the start. With everything in me, I try to be okay. I try to be strong, keep going each day. But if I’m being honest, I’m putting on a brave face. Pretending to have faith, even when that’s not the case. Uncertainty is all I know for sure, it’s hard to see past today.
I’ll never stop asking, why you just couldn’t stay.
So time keeps on moving, but one thing will never change. A love like ours is forever and I can’t wait for that day. I think about it often, just how it will be.
I know I’ll run straight to you and we’ll start our eternity.
~ Joni Roberts Grief to Life

Published by Joni@GrieftoLife

Gotta love the 'About Me' sections of everything. I feel like I'm either in a one sided interview or trying to create a dating profile. "I like starry nights and long walks on the beach" Ha! All jokes aside, it is necessary to share your story. Especially in a place like this where you hope to reach people through your struggles. So here goes everything... Hi everyone πŸ‘‹πŸΌ Grief is a journey, an ever changing and painful process. It can isolate you and make you feel more lonely than one could ever imagine. That is why I write and share my story. We need support. We need people that "get it." We need each other. I was married to the love of my life, just shy of 13 years. We went to school together, known him since elementary. He was my "boyfriend" in 5th grade. I even wrote "Joni Roberts" in my notebooks and cheered for him when he played basketball at recess πŸ˜‚ We came back together when we went to the prom, as friends, our senior year in high school. That was in 1997. We started dating seriously in the summer of 1998. He asked me to be his wife in February of 1999. We said "I do" on October 2nd of the same year. We had our first child in October of 2000, our son. We had our daughter, 22 months later in August of 2002. In the time we were married, we went through more than most could go through in a lifetime. We never gave up on each other. In June of 2012, he and I were in a horrible car accident that claimed his life. In an instant, my entire world was shattered, leaving me a grieving single mother of two grieving children who are now teenagers. I'm walking day by day through life without the one that would be with me forever. I would have never imagined that this is where I would be in my life at 38 years old. But, I am doing everything I can to be strong, to raise our two children, to take this grief and use it to fuel the purpose for the rest of my days here on earth. ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME. Today: I am in the waiting room for my first neurologist appointment. It is in the same office as my surgeon from the accident. I'm sitting here remembering myself horribly hurt and in a wheelchair and I'm overwhelmed with feelings but mostly reflecting on how far I've come. I love and miss my best friend every single day. I'm positive that won't change until we are together again. I am choosing to try and live my life in a way that would honor him and make him proud. Living With Purpose.

36 thoughts on “Eternity

  1. Beautiful! Those that have left me I place in my future and move them from my past. I, too look forward to that day when I will see them and be with them forever! We have something and someone to look forward to!

  2. I can’t even begin to say i know how you feel. My husband was in a medicated coma for 2 months, i had a sense of hopelessness like nothing would ever be ok ever again.
    it can be so hard to keep the faith. this is truly inspiring. πŸ™‚

  3. Sometimes there are situations in life – in which one feels lonely and separated – however, we always have a friend with us who will even accompany us when our life ends and noone else is able to come with us – our friend, father and brother: Jesus Christ. this love will never die – and He shall be with us till the end of the world.
    Thanks for sharing, dear Joni and hope for you that someday your love will knock at your door again…
    All good wishes
    Didi

  4. That is beautiful, Joni. Particularly when you close the post with the photo box.
    I have said before, there is no way I can even imagine what you go through each day.
    Your previous precious memories, and your sure hope in the future, I believe are the strengths to keep you going, of course along with our Lord Jesus Christ, LIFE HIMSELF, who has provided the way for you and your love to meet again, for eternity.
    God Bless, Strengthen, and keep you wrapped in His arms.

  5. This is so touching! I believe it is Jesus who heals our hearts. The Bible says all things work together for those wo love God. I believe God is at work here. When my grandma died, I noticed that my grandpa though he was sad, did not cry. When everybody asked him why, he said, ‘Why should I? She is in the best place she could be. And I am going to see her soon.’ He lived as an atheist till he was thirty. His faith was so real to him that as an evangelist, he would go even as a weak old man, to dangerous people in dangerous places to talk of the love of God. He went through a cancer, a stroke, two collapsed vertebrae and the list goes on. But even when in his worst of times, I would go meet him and he would smile and crack a joke. How could he? Me and my mother were the last to see him. When we went in to the operation room, there he was. He was dead, but he was smiling. He taught me a lot about God and he challenged me to live like God was real. His pain had taught him to live like God was real.

    1. Wow. What an amazing story about the life your Grandpa lived. Most often, we don’t realize that they way we choose to live our lives, really can make a difference in someone else’s. Your Grandpa is a perfect example of that. What a powerful testimony. This encourages me more than I can say. Thank you for taking the time to share that with me. ?

  6. So beautiful! Grief has no time limit . Why should it .. but keep moving forward one day at a time .I pray it will get easier but that is only for you to know . Hugs my friend.??

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