Music and Healing


My husband was a musician.  I am so beyond thankful that I have videos of him playing/singing as well as all of his songs.  But, I typically can’t listen to them. It’s been too painful.  
Going to pour a glass of wine and give it a try. The point isn’t to make myself sad. The point is to begin to make myself face the things that I find too difficult or painful. I believe there will be a little bit more healing each time I’m able to do this. 
The first one is a song he wrote for me when we were in the middle of really hard times.  The second one needs no description. Who would have known that the words would become so real. Listen if you want and if not it’s okay.  Just felt like sharing. 

Published by Joni@GrieftoLife

Gotta love the 'About Me' sections of everything. I feel like I'm either in a one sided interview or trying to create a dating profile. "I like starry nights and long walks on the beach" Ha! All jokes aside, it is necessary to share your story. Especially in a place like this where you hope to reach people through your struggles. So here goes everything... Hi everyone 👋🏼 Grief is a journey, an ever changing and painful process. It can isolate you and make you feel more lonely than one could ever imagine. That is why I write and share my story. We need support. We need people that "get it." We need each other. I was married to the love of my life, just shy of 13 years. We went to school together, known him since elementary. He was my "boyfriend" in 5th grade. I even wrote "Joni Roberts" in my notebooks and cheered for him when he played basketball at recess 😂 We came back together when we went to the prom, as friends, our senior year in high school. That was in 1997. We started dating seriously in the summer of 1998. He asked me to be his wife in February of 1999. We said "I do" on October 2nd of the same year. We had our first child in October of 2000, our son. We had our daughter, 22 months later in August of 2002. In the time we were married, we went through more than most could go through in a lifetime. We never gave up on each other. In June of 2012, he and I were in a horrible car accident that claimed his life. In an instant, my entire world was shattered, leaving me a grieving single mother of two grieving children who are now teenagers. I'm walking day by day through life without the one that would be with me forever. I would have never imagined that this is where I would be in my life at 38 years old. But, I am doing everything I can to be strong, to raise our two children, to take this grief and use it to fuel the purpose for the rest of my days here on earth. ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME. Today: I am in the waiting room for my first neurologist appointment. It is in the same office as my surgeon from the accident. I'm sitting here remembering myself horribly hurt and in a wheelchair and I'm overwhelmed with feelings but mostly reflecting on how far I've come. I love and miss my best friend every single day. I'm positive that won't change until we are together again. I am choosing to try and live my life in a way that would honor him and make him proud. Living With Purpose.

63 thoughts on “Music and Healing

  1. The pain that doesn’t kill you, always makes you stronger. Cherish these memories for ever, even though it’s painful. You’ll definitely find some relief in them.

  2. Wow. These are wonderful. Thanks for sharing your memories. Have that glass of wine, but know that there are many who will be touched by his music.

  3. simply beautiful music and emotions expressed… the harmony is an endless impetus and there to encourage and carry you forward… as is the diminishing pain, blessings _/||\_

  4. I actually cried when I listened to those songs. It’s been a privilege to be a part of your journey and get to know such a great man. The songs were amazing! Thank you for sharing something so personal. Praying. 🙂

    1. @Stefan, I know right!
      WOW! I was crying before the second song even started. So beautiful! Treasure these priceless memories Joni 🙂 What am I saying I know you treasure them!!
      Thanks for sharing with us 🙂

  5. Wow! Beautiful. I can listen to those songs again and again. Thanks for sharing. I hope your grief becomes your biggest strength. Love and prayers for you. <3

  6. OMG, so talented with guitar and wonderful voice. These recordings will keep him alive and something for you and your children to remember him by and treasure!

  7. What an amazing voice , thank you for sharing , i know it must be painful but comforting to listen to them , hold on to the beautiful memories of him he will get you through..hugs?

  8. I would not want to brief the grief you have been into.
    We all can and shall be a minute part of it Yule. I feel it shall solace you no matter how small.
    But the lines you share
    ” I believe there will be a little bit more healing each time I’m able to do this. ”
    are soothing not only to you but even the readers.
    The audio songs are marvellous, though I do not know much of western music. I can say he was a wonderful musician.
    Sharing in your Grief
    ???
    Shiva

  9. Your post have captured my heart & truly blessed me.
    I am having a Selah moment right now….
    Music is healing for the soul.
    Thank you for sharing and being so transparent.

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