Gratefulness and Pain

I’m thankful that I know God. Without Him, there is no hope. Even through my darkest times, He has always been with me. There have been so many times where I felt like he had forgotten me and I was alone. Grief has a way of stealing ones joy and sense of security. The enemy feeds on the sadness and uses it to try and separate you from God and other people. God is showing me that He is the only thing, the only one, who can save me from the darkness.

Published by Joni@GrieftoLife

Gotta love the 'About Me' sections of everything. I feel like I'm either in a one sided interview or trying to create a dating profile. "I like starry nights and long walks on the beach" Ha! All jokes aside, it is necessary to share your story. Especially in a place like this where you hope to reach people through your struggles. So here goes everything... Hi everyone 👋🏼 Grief is a journey, an ever changing and painful process. It can isolate you and make you feel more lonely than one could ever imagine. That is why I write and share my story. We need support. We need people that "get it." We need each other. I was married to the love of my life, just shy of 13 years. We went to school together, known him since elementary. He was my "boyfriend" in 5th grade. I even wrote "Joni Roberts" in my notebooks and cheered for him when he played basketball at recess 😂 We came back together when we went to the prom, as friends, our senior year in high school. That was in 1997. We started dating seriously in the summer of 1998. He asked me to be his wife in February of 1999. We said "I do" on October 2nd of the same year. We had our first child in October of 2000, our son. We had our daughter, 22 months later in August of 2002. In the time we were married, we went through more than most could go through in a lifetime. We never gave up on each other. In June of 2012, he and I were in a horrible car accident that claimed his life. In an instant, my entire world was shattered, leaving me a grieving single mother of two grieving children who are now teenagers. I'm walking day by day through life without the one that would be with me forever. I would have never imagined that this is where I would be in my life at 38 years old. But, I am doing everything I can to be strong, to raise our two children, to take this grief and use it to fuel the purpose for the rest of my days here on earth. ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME. Today: I am in the waiting room for my first neurologist appointment. It is in the same office as my surgeon from the accident. I'm sitting here remembering myself horribly hurt and in a wheelchair and I'm overwhelmed with feelings but mostly reflecting on how far I've come. I love and miss my best friend every single day. I'm positive that won't change until we are together again. I am choosing to try and live my life in a way that would honor him and make him proud. Living With Purpose.

37 thoughts on “Gratefulness and Pain

  1. Yes He really is the one that can heal our pain. I like a quote that says. “Our lifeguard walks on water!” He will keep the waves from drowning you.

  2. So true Joni…
    “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
    ??Psalms? ?23:4? ?ESV??

  3. well said. I have started reading “Knowing God” by J.I. Packer. It was the well-worn copy that my friend had at church one Sunday that caught my attention. Really will help take your discipleship of Jesus so much deeper.. wow…

  4. Hello Joni Getting to know Our Heavenly Father is a life long process. You can also read The Book of Mormon which is another Testament to Jesus Christ. I say this as an Elder in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We have people who are ready to talk and go from there Joni.

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