LETTING GO

So, I have always hated hearing a couple of phrases. 

1) It’s time to move on. 

2) It’s time to let go. 

They are like nails down a chalkboard and they hurt my heart. If you have never lost someone close to you, you couldn’t imagine how hurtful those words can be. And the mere idea of the reality behind those words; absolutely terrifying. 
I’m going to share a very personal story. I was recently reminded of it and I think it is going to be used to help me going forward. I am only sharing it in hopes it will be helpful to someone else as well. 

In 2007, my husband and I separated. It was the most difficult time in my life up to that point. I won’t go into details as they aren’t necessary, but I was completely devastated and it was what seemed to be a hopeless situation.

One day, while at work, I felt as though I heard the Lord speaking to me. It was: 

Let go. Let him go. 
What?? That totally caught me off guard. I know what it means to hear from God but I couldn’t imagine that He would be leading me to walk away. I thought on it some more… 


Let him go. To me

It finally clicked. I understood. He was telling me to take my hands off the situation and have faith that He was in control and I needed to just give it to Him. I believe it was at this time in my life that I learned what it truly meant to have faith. 

God wasn’t promising me that things would be fixed, that I would have my family back, that the outcome would be just what I wanted, etc. He was merely promising me that, whatever the outcome, He had me and I was going to be okay. 

There’s so much more to this story but, long story short, I was obedient and God did have His hand on the situation. My family was saved and my marriage was transformed. 

What does this have to do with my current situation??

I’ve been stuck. Beyond stuck. No matter how I’ve tried, I just can’t seem to get past the hurt and loss. I miss my husband so much and I just haven’t been able to find happiness. I haven’t been living. I’ve been merely breathing. 

I. CAN’T. LET. GO. 

Recently God reminded me of that time in 2007; that very time when He dared me to let go and to trust Him. Why??
I’m holding on for dear life to someone that isn’t physically here anymore. I’m holding on to to a life that no longer exists. I’m holding on to the past with everything in me. 

I. DON’T. WANT. TO. LET. GO. 

God spoke to my heart again:

~You don’t have to let go. At least not in the way you think. But, take your hands off the situation. Give it to me. 

Wow. Totally life changing perspective. 

You see, I will never “let go” of Jonathan and I will never “move on.” I will, without a shadow of a doubt, hold that love in my heart, forever. 

But, I can hand over the situation to God and let Him work in my life. I can allow Him to help me move forward. 

I’m at least going to give it my best shot.


I’m going to try and pry these clenched hands open…

13 thoughts on “LETTING GO

  1. Last night someone told me ‘It could always be worse’. IT dawned on me that very moment how often I heard that, and how sick of hearing it I became. I took a few moments to let sink in and I came up with my response. This was it, ‘When looking at the event and actually measuring the level of emotion to the event, saying stuff like it could be worse, actually tells the person that the emotional turmoil a legitimate problem causes is not important. Furthermore, if someone is legitimately taking active steps to help solve the problem validation is actually the best way to help. validation and brainstorming actual possible solutions to the problem.’ I have come to realize that the line letting go, has also been told to me recently. As I’ve struggled to handle my divorce, my back injury, not being able to work right now because of my back, and having to move out of my own home I’ve found myself with the weight of the world on my shoulders. As Ive continued to move forward day by day, I struggle not with my faith, but to let go of my worries and trust I’m not in control of my day to day life.

    There is a time when we must learn to let go of the pain and trust in God to fill the void left behind. Loss of any kind is hard to handle. We never know how long it will take someone to handle grief, as long as we don’t get ‘stuck’ in that grief. It’s a tricky thing and tricky timing. Looking into ourselves and ask are we stuck or is the wound still healing. We must draw a conclusion at some point. Trust in God and trust in the big picture. We can only ever see a small piece of the puzzle. Have faith and remember Gods love for us is never ending.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Greif is something we go through, not somewhere we live for the rest of our lives. I know how hurtful words can be to a grieving heart. I also know that while love can linger and memories are forever life does move on whether we participate or not. When the time comes you will know what I mean. My wife of 40 years died in 2014. I will always have the memories, but I will not grieve forever.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “God spoke to my heart again:
    ~ You do not have to let go. At least not in the way you think. But, take your hands off the situation. Give it to me.
    Wow. Totally life changing perspective. ”

    This is your Key. This is your cure. This is your freedom.
    Health, peace and courage in your walk, and above all have faith in Him because He is the only one who can solve our problems and comfort us with His Hope.

    Liked by 2 people

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