LIFE

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We were clueless.  We couldn’t have known.  We got in a car together just as we had several times a day for 14+ years.  We cranked up the music.  We pulled out of the driveway.  For the last time.  Five years ago today my kids and I lost the single most important person in our lives.  My best friend and the one that I would grow old with was gone.  In an instant. Everything changed in that instant. EVERYTHING.
Life has not been nor will it ever be the same.  We had plans.  We had dreams.  We were supposed to raise our children together.  I have been trying to pick up the pieces ever since.  The thing I have come to know is that no matter how hard I try, those pieces are never going to complete the puzzle that was to be our lives together.  Well, not on this side of heaven anyway.   

So what now?

I have to live.  Every single day I have to make the conscious choice to live.  Not just going through the motions but truly living.  That’s what this blog is about and I dedicate it to his memory.  I dedicate it to his life and the life he would want us to live.
Jonathan David Roberts ~ Born June 3, 1979 ~ Stepped into eternity June 19, 2012

Walking through the journey of pain and loss, with purpose.  Holding on to the hope of the joy that lies ahead.

Published by Joni@GrieftoLife

Gotta love the 'About Me' sections of everything. I feel like I'm either in a one sided interview or trying to create a dating profile. "I like starry nights and long walks on the beach" Ha! All jokes aside, it is necessary to share your story. Especially in a place like this where you hope to reach people through your struggles. So here goes everything... Hi everyone ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿผ Grief is a journey, an ever changing and painful process. It can isolate you and make you feel more lonely than one could ever imagine. That is why I write and share my story. We need support. We need people that "get it." We need each other. I was married to the love of my life, just shy of 13 years. We went to school together, known him since elementary. He was my "boyfriend" in 5th grade. I even wrote "Joni Roberts" in my notebooks and cheered for him when he played basketball at recess ๐Ÿ˜‚ We came back together when we went to the prom, as friends, our senior year in high school. That was in 1997. We started dating seriously in the summer of 1998. He asked me to be his wife in February of 1999. We said "I do" on October 2nd of the same year. We had our first child in October of 2000, our son. We had our daughter, 22 months later in August of 2002. In the time we were married, we went through more than most could go through in a lifetime. We never gave up on each other. In June of 2012, he and I were in a horrible car accident that claimed his life. In an instant, my entire world was shattered, leaving me a grieving single mother of two grieving children who are now teenagers. I'm walking day by day through life without the one that would be with me forever. I would have never imagined that this is where I would be in my life at 38 years old. But, I am doing everything I can to be strong, to raise our two children, to take this grief and use it to fuel the purpose for the rest of my days here on earth. ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME. Today: I am in the waiting room for my first neurologist appointment. It is in the same office as my surgeon from the accident. I'm sitting here remembering myself horribly hurt and in a wheelchair and I'm overwhelmed with feelings but mostly reflecting on how far I've come. I love and miss my best friend every single day. I'm positive that won't change until we are together again. I am choosing to try and live my life in a way that would honor him and make him proud. Living With Purpose.

12 thoughts on “LIFE

  1. Great for you to set this up. To help others who have went through life and experienced heart breaking events in their life as you have!

  2. Joni know that he is with you in spirit….. you know him better then anyone….I know we don’t know each other but maybe you should play that song again…..lots of love and prayers…oxoxox

  3. Joni, Glad you are starting a blog! I am thankful for your transparency even through your pain and grieving. Nicole and I love you very much! God bless you my dear Sister!

  4. Love this!! This is going to be so good for you & others. You’re an amazing woman & I’ve watched you live for you & your children & it’s what he would have wanted. Living doesn’t mean forgetting…
    Love you tons!!

  5. Living is the most honorable way to remember our loved ones who have moved forward to heaven ahead of us. Live fully, live loud,be kind, make them proud.

  6. I”M SO SO PROUD OF YOU. SENDING LOTS OF LOVE YOUR WAY. KNOW this was hard but THE HOPE of LIFE is greater.

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